(this version found here)
Walt Whitman (1819–1892). Leaves of Grass. 1900.
37. Whoever you are holding me now in hand
| WHOEVER you are, holding me now in hand, | |||||||||||
| Without one thing, all will be useless, | |||||||||||
| I give you fair warning, before you attempt me further, | |||||||||||
| I am not what you supposed, but far different. | |||||||||||
| Who is he that would become my follower? | 5 | ||||||||||
| Who would sign himself a candidate for my affections? | |||||||||||
| The way is suspicious—the result uncertain, perhaps destructive; | |||||||||||
| You would have to give up all else—I alone would expect to be your God, sole and exclusive, | |||||||||||
| Your novitiate would even then be long and exhausting, | |||||||||||
| The whole past theory of your life, and all conformity to the lives around you, would have to be abandon’d; | 10 | ||||||||||
| Therefore release me now, before troubling yourself any further—Let go your hand from my shoulders, | |||||||||||
| Put me down, and depart on your way. | |||||||||||
| Or else, by stealth, in some wood, for trial, | |||||||||||
| Or back of a rock, in the open air, | |||||||||||
| (For in any roof’d room of a house I emerge not—nor in company, | 15 | ||||||||||
| And in libraries I lie as one dumb, a gawk, or unborn, or dead,) | |||||||||||
| But just possibly with you on a high hill—first watching lest any person, for miles around, approach unawares, | |||||||||||
| Or possibly with you sailing at sea, or on the beach of the sea, or some quiet island, | |||||||||||
| Here to put your lips upon mine I permit you, | |||||||||||
| With the comrade’s long-dwelling kiss, or the new husband’s kiss, | 20 | ||||||||||
| For I am the new husband, and I am the comrade. | |||||||||||
| Or, if you will, thrusting me beneath your clothing, | |||||||||||
| Where I may feel the throbs of your heart, or rest upon your hip, | |||||||||||
| Carry me when you go forth over land or sea; | |||||||||||
| For thus, merely touching you, is enough—is best, | 25 | ||||||||||
| And thus, touching you, would I silently sleep and be carried eternally. | |||||||||||
| But these leaves conning, you con at peril, | |||||||||||
| For these leaves, and me, you will not understand, | |||||||||||
| They will elude you at first, and still more afterward—I will certainly elude you, | |||||||||||
| Even while you should think you had unquestionably caught me, behold! | 30 | ||||||||||
| Already you see I have escaped from you. | |||||||||||
| For it is not for what I have put into it that I have written this book, | |||||||||||
| Nor is it by reading it you will acquire it, | |||||||||||
| Nor do those know me best who admire me, and vauntingly praise me, | |||||||||||
| Nor will the candidates for my love, (unless at most a very few,) prove victorious, | 35 | ||||||||||
| Nor will my poems do good only—they will do just as much evil, perhaps more; | |||||||||||
| For all is useless without that which you may guess at many times and not hit—that which I hinted at; | |||||||||||
| Therefore release me, and depart on your way. |
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