(this version found here)
Walt Whitman (1819–1892). Leaves of Grass. 1900.
37. Whoever you are holding me now in hand
WHOEVER you are, holding me now in hand, | |||||||||||
Without one thing, all will be useless, | |||||||||||
I give you fair warning, before you attempt me further, | |||||||||||
I am not what you supposed, but far different. | |||||||||||
Who is he that would become my follower? | 5 | ||||||||||
Who would sign himself a candidate for my affections? | |||||||||||
The way is suspicious—the result uncertain, perhaps destructive; | |||||||||||
You would have to give up all else—I alone would expect to be your God, sole and exclusive, | |||||||||||
Your novitiate would even then be long and exhausting, | |||||||||||
The whole past theory of your life, and all conformity to the lives around you, would have to be abandon’d; | 10 | ||||||||||
Therefore release me now, before troubling yourself any further—Let go your hand from my shoulders, | |||||||||||
Put me down, and depart on your way. | |||||||||||
Or else, by stealth, in some wood, for trial, | |||||||||||
Or back of a rock, in the open air, | |||||||||||
(For in any roof’d room of a house I emerge not—nor in company, | 15 | ||||||||||
And in libraries I lie as one dumb, a gawk, or unborn, or dead,) | |||||||||||
But just possibly with you on a high hill—first watching lest any person, for miles around, approach unawares, | |||||||||||
Or possibly with you sailing at sea, or on the beach of the sea, or some quiet island, | |||||||||||
Here to put your lips upon mine I permit you, | |||||||||||
With the comrade’s long-dwelling kiss, or the new husband’s kiss, | 20 | ||||||||||
For I am the new husband, and I am the comrade. | |||||||||||
Or, if you will, thrusting me beneath your clothing, | |||||||||||
Where I may feel the throbs of your heart, or rest upon your hip, | |||||||||||
Carry me when you go forth over land or sea; | |||||||||||
For thus, merely touching you, is enough—is best, | 25 | ||||||||||
And thus, touching you, would I silently sleep and be carried eternally. | |||||||||||
But these leaves conning, you con at peril, | |||||||||||
For these leaves, and me, you will not understand, | |||||||||||
They will elude you at first, and still more afterward—I will certainly elude you, | |||||||||||
Even while you should think you had unquestionably caught me, behold! | 30 | ||||||||||
Already you see I have escaped from you. | |||||||||||
For it is not for what I have put into it that I have written this book, | |||||||||||
Nor is it by reading it you will acquire it, | |||||||||||
Nor do those know me best who admire me, and vauntingly praise me, | |||||||||||
Nor will the candidates for my love, (unless at most a very few,) prove victorious, | 35 | ||||||||||
Nor will my poems do good only—they will do just as much evil, perhaps more; | |||||||||||
For all is useless without that which you may guess at many times and not hit—that which I hinted at; | |||||||||||
Therefore release me, and depart on your way. |
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